Classical Conditioning

Well, we are a couple sickies this weekend. We've got some sort of cold/body ache going on.  Last night, we passed out on the family room floor/couch early last night after watching one of the lamest movies ever. I still don't know why I stayed up because I was so exhausted and it was so terrible.

So, our cat Scout can be very hyper. I think it's because he is the equivalent of a 4th grade boy. As such, with the advent of the Christmas tree, Cory and I have had to start his holiday training. Hopefully it won't be his annual holiday training. See, last year, we left the tree up until May (okay, we were too lazy to box it up, so we just moved it into the guest room).

According to Cory, 'kitten' Scout used to climb the tree.  I don't doubt that, because Scout also seems to think he can drink out of my parent's fridge water dispenser (true story, my Mom saw him clinging onto the ledge for dear life).

Well, grown up Scout in his lion like glory is not welcome climbing up my Christmas tree.

So, this is his training:

1. Delaney puts up Christmas tree. Part of the lights don't work. She spends hours trying to fix the lights.

2. Scout is frolicking all around the living room in chaotic excitement. He also tries to suck on the branches and jump through the branches.

3. Delaney yells and beats him. OKAY, okay, PETA. I'm just kidding. More like a good, healthy, swat.

4. Delaney comes home to find a big hole in the middle (can't currently find my camera). Either the tree collapsed in on itself, or Scout took a nap there, hurled himself at the tree in joy, etc.

5. Delaney spends ages getting the beaded garland positioned just right on the tree.

6. Scout wiggles his hips and tries to chase garland.

7. Delaney yells at Scout.

8. Delaney spends hours putting ornaments on tree.

9. Scout paws at ornaments on tree, knocks them off, and wrestles with them. He continues sucking on tree branches.

10. Yelling and beating, swatting, commence. We whip out the spray bottle.

11. He's still the cutest cat ever.

In other news, a friend of mine (the one who told me that he was Maine Coon), told me about the Raw Food diet for cats. Basically that means feeding your cat raw meat. I know, I know, (really, I do) that it sounds crazy. My dad is an ultra germaphobe, especially about things like raw meat. So, if my cat dies by Christmas...it's all me.

But, really, my cat totally pounced on and promptly killed a mouse (it was in our family room!) earlier this spring. He then tried to eat it raw, in my house. That was of course a negative and we shook it out of his mouth onto the porch (and...it was gone in the morning. which is just wrong). So, when you think about it, cats always have eaten raw mice, birds, rabbits, etc. So, I have tried giving him some meat...to see if he likes it. Just a little meat. Yes, I know I'm crazy.

He likes chicken, beef, turkey liver/heart (Thanksgiving), and turkey neck. Pork didn't agree with him. No worries, we still currently leave out the 24 hour kibble buffet. And, he's still as massive as ever. But he is not fat (yet); it's all bone and fur. His goal in life is to never turn into this tub of lard:

My parent's fat cat, Smudge, who almost killed my dad. Too lazy to stand to eat :)

Disclaimer: I don't really beat my cat.