Finding Happiness

It's been an interesting week in the Carroll house. I won't go into details, but in the words of Cory, "When it rains, it pours." It was more of a phrase than anything, because it could be far worse. Really, our life is so very good. Despite any financial setbacks or minor frustrations of life we are very blessed and happy. 

Still, I find that I sometimes feel a twinge of envy about the life situations of others. Their cushioned savings account, their brand new car, the home that they own instead of rent, their stainless steel appliances, their skinny, athletic body, and the stylish wardrobe they bought without guilt. I could go on. I don't think I'm the only one in the world that has a few people that they are just plain jealous of. I admit it! Sometimes I can hear Captain Hook in my mind, "He took my toy! She hit my bear! I want a potty! I want a cookie! I want to stay up! I want, I want, I want, me, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now, now!"   

But, the thing I've noticed about wishing for the blessings of others is that you forget about their trials. It's a packaged deal. I can't pick and choose pieces of their life. If I get their padded bank account, I also get their marriage. Not only do I get their body and wardrobe, but the health troubles and illnesses they suffer from. And that stainless steel french door fridge? It may be coupled with family strife, financial struggles, or loneliness. Who knows, maybe somebody envies portions of my life. 

There are so many absolutely awesome parts of my life. I am married to my best friend, who just so happens to be incredibly handsome, thoughtful, a great husband and father, and very good at his day job. 

Weird. How did this picture of Cory's butt get here? Oh well.

We have a perfect baby boy. Sometimes when I'm rocking him at night, I find myself getting all misty missing my idyllic childhood and wanting so badly to recreate the same for him. It's an intimidating job. That perfect baby boy sleeps through the night now! My imperfect baby body is getting there folks. Six more pounds and a zero pack are all that stand in my way. 

We both have college degrees, a faith that guides our lives, and a bright future.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subjective_well-being

The other day I watched an interesting documentary, called Happy. The psychologists interviewed said they've found that happiness is 50% a genetic set point, 10% circumstances, and 40% intentional acts. I think we often tend to focus on that tiny "circumstance" section. We act like it's 90%. I will be happy if I land a big moneymaking dream job, find true love, have perfect, beautiful children, buy that big, fancy house, lose 10 pounds, etc. I was talking to Cory about this. In our faith family is heavily emphasized. My marriage is one of my greatest assets. However, we decided that while our marriage bond itself is very essential, it wouldn't be a very good marriage relationship if we didn't fill our weeks with intentional acts...that essential 40%. For us, it's a weekly date night, nightly talks before bed, frequent text messages, spontaneity, regularity, compliments, favors, quality time, and "How are we doing?" checkups. We've been trying to get better on reading scriptures together and having Family Home Evening. 

My role as a parent, a wonderful circumstance of mine, is only as valuable as my intentional acts as a mother. Those moments in the nursery glider that I try and freeze frame, his smiles in the morning as we snuggle in bed, those soft baby hands hanging on my shirt as he falls asleep on my chest, the fact that he is just like his momma and sometimes wakes up with only one sock on, the way he arches his back when he stretches, when his hand rests on my arm, his gorgeous eyelashes he inherited from his daddy, those pesky hiccups, the baby noises, when I smile at him and he smiles back, and it is only getting better. I even want to remember several days ago when he arced pee onto his forehead while impressively soiling a blanket and two diapers. Because it was funny. Pull yourself together man!

 I totally took this and edited it. So proud. See below for the original.

The documentary talked about how we can choose to be happy; we can find happiness. People who spend intentional time with friends and family and do things that make them happy are more optimistic. Ideally these things provide present and future happiness. Sometimes I think that being a grown up is awful expensive and tiring. It just so happens that we often have to do things that only provide future happiness (i.e. cleaning the toilet, studying for a test, budgeting). We can't expect a constant state of bliss.

Still, my point is that while life isn't easy, it sure is wonderful to be alive. I am very grateful for that 40%, those intentional acts that brighten any circumstances. I am so very happy with my life, with all the imperfect parts.