Classical Conditioning

Well, we are a couple sickies this weekend. We've got some sort of cold/body ache going on.  Last night, we passed out on the family room floor/couch early last night after watching one of the lamest movies ever. I still don't know why I stayed up because I was so exhausted and it was so terrible.

So, our cat Scout can be very hyper. I think it's because he is the equivalent of a 4th grade boy. As such, with the advent of the Christmas tree, Cory and I have had to start his holiday training. Hopefully it won't be his annual holiday training. See, last year, we left the tree up until May (okay, we were too lazy to box it up, so we just moved it into the guest room).

According to Cory, 'kitten' Scout used to climb the tree.  I don't doubt that, because Scout also seems to think he can drink out of my parent's fridge water dispenser (true story, my Mom saw him clinging onto the ledge for dear life).

Well, grown up Scout in his lion like glory is not welcome climbing up my Christmas tree.

So, this is his training:

1. Delaney puts up Christmas tree. Part of the lights don't work. She spends hours trying to fix the lights.

2. Scout is frolicking all around the living room in chaotic excitement. He also tries to suck on the branches and jump through the branches.

3. Delaney yells and beats him. OKAY, okay, PETA. I'm just kidding. More like a good, healthy, swat.

4. Delaney comes home to find a big hole in the middle (can't currently find my camera). Either the tree collapsed in on itself, or Scout took a nap there, hurled himself at the tree in joy, etc.

5. Delaney spends ages getting the beaded garland positioned just right on the tree.

6. Scout wiggles his hips and tries to chase garland.

7. Delaney yells at Scout.

8. Delaney spends hours putting ornaments on tree.

9. Scout paws at ornaments on tree, knocks them off, and wrestles with them. He continues sucking on tree branches.

10. Yelling and beating, swatting, commence. We whip out the spray bottle.

11. He's still the cutest cat ever.

In other news, a friend of mine (the one who told me that he was Maine Coon), told me about the Raw Food diet for cats. Basically that means feeding your cat raw meat. I know, I know, (really, I do) that it sounds crazy. My dad is an ultra germaphobe, especially about things like raw meat. So, if my cat dies by Christmas...it's all me.

But, really, my cat totally pounced on and promptly killed a mouse (it was in our family room!) earlier this spring. He then tried to eat it raw, in my house. That was of course a negative and we shook it out of his mouth onto the porch (and...it was gone in the morning. which is just wrong). So, when you think about it, cats always have eaten raw mice, birds, rabbits, etc. So, I have tried giving him some meat...to see if he likes it. Just a little meat. Yes, I know I'm crazy.

He likes chicken, beef, turkey liver/heart (Thanksgiving), and turkey neck. Pork didn't agree with him. No worries, we still currently leave out the 24 hour kibble buffet. And, he's still as massive as ever. But he is not fat (yet); it's all bone and fur. His goal in life is to never turn into this tub of lard:

My parent's fat cat, Smudge, who almost killed my dad. Too lazy to stand to eat :)

Disclaimer: I don't really beat my cat.

Hand Models

Can I just say that this video is slightly creepy? But, she does have good looking hands. She has an impressive portfolio. That link only shows a handful of stuff she has done. Still, she's a bit of a nutter.

Murphy's Law

So, last week I had an interview for a school receptionist position that I felt pretty good about and I quite wanted to get. Now, let me preface this by saying that I have applied to 30 jobs in Crowley ISD, and about 10-15 via other districts and Craigslist. I've interviewed for a handful.

I've been substitute teaching since October. So, while I do like my "job," I certainly do not love it. So, I'm always looking for something better (especially if it has benefits!). Well, I told myself to not get my hopes up because I probably wouldn't get it. And I didn't. Naturally.

I'm starting to get a complex. Now, don't worry, I know I'm going to get a better job. Eventually. I figure Heavenly Father is trying to teach me a lesson. Since I obviously haven't learned it, I've been brainstorming.

1. I 'm supposed to have a baby. Okay, moving on, that's not it! Let's learn that lesson in a couple years.

2. Cory's theory is that I'm supposed to realize that I shouldn't focus on money. I fixate on saving money. The plan was for us to pocket my entire teaching paycheck, pay off all of his student loans in a year, and save up a 10-20% down payment for a home. Since I didn't get a teaching job, I've focused more on being a bit more frugal so we can still slowly meet our goals.

3. I would have had a mental breakdown balancing starting a brand new school year, moving into a brand new townhouse, moving to a brand new city, and supporting Cory in a brand new job, while he worked 80-90 hours a week...possible. Okay, fine, very possible.

4. I'll meet some great contact subbing that will lead me to a great opportunity....we'll see.

Well, until I figure it out, Let's go with this last option:

5. Murphy's Law: "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong".

I'm currently leaning towards this one because while I am frustrated I don't have a better job, I'm almost just as frustrated with my jaw. I seriously think I have Temporomandibular joint disorder. Why? Because my jaw locks and pops nearly constantly.

It's probably all my fault. In case you were ever wondering what the best type of gum on earth is...it's Orbit Sweet Mint. I went through the Costco sized packs in college (especially my senior year) like no one's business.

And the most disgusting type of gum? Orbit Lemon Lime. It tastes like cleaning supplies. I'm serious.

Anyways, the addiction mellowed a bit my first year teaching, but the damage had been done.

My jaw started popping and getting stuck in 2009. Last Friday night, the tally was 20 times in an hour. However, sometimes it is more or less. It's ALWAYS annoying. Especially when I have to do this very talented poke and pull deal to unlock my jaw every. single. morning. So, I've been looking into doctors/dentists...but we only have health insurance. No dental.

Here are some things that will always happen (sooner or later):

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. SO TRUE

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you look really disgusting.

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease (or baking batter, dirt, etc.), your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.


Law of Physical Surfaces
If you drop an open-faced jam sandwich or peanut butter toast, it will land face down on the carpet or rug. Especially if the carpet is brand new.

Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.


Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

The New Dating

So, Cory and I have an analogy about making friends after you get  married. It really is the new dating.

So, let's outline the steps of starting a relationship.

First, it starts out with some attraction. You see the couple at church or something and think, "Hey, they look cool, we should be friends with them!" (Note: be careful with this. Just like in dating, some weird couples look all too normal).

Next, you might try and casually get to know them. Maybe you introduce yourselves, find out where they're from, what they do for a living, etc. Hopefully this leads to the big hurdle: the first date: So, you give the couple a call or go up to them, and invite them over. For a movie, dinner, games, something fun, whatever.

Now, sometimes the couple is busy and can't make it to the original first date. So, maybe you ask them again. And, maybe, if you're a sucker like Cory and me, you might even ask them several times.

Or, they accept! So, you go on the date. You try and make a good impression, like, hey, just so you know... we are really fun people. But, here is where you might compare this date to other dates. Is this couple as fun as that one other couple? But, even more, you wonder...do they like us back?

So, maybe they could come over for that first date. So, then you invite them over for a second.

Will they call back? Is this relationship one sided?

At some point, you realize you are indeed that awkward guy that can't take a hint. So, you decide that you'll stop inviting them over and see if they reciprocate. This is when you realize that they're just not that into you.

But, every so often, you find that gem of a couple. You know the one. They invite you over as much as you invite them. The wives like each other and the husbands like each other. They are fun. They laugh at your jokes, you start to get really comfortable hanging out, and before you know it, you have a couple friend. 

Cory and I invited two couples over for dinner today. Both were epic fails (they were both busy). Are we weird?

Oh well, we have a fun night planned anyway. We had a great dinner where we talked about some traditions we'd like to do with our future family. Now, when Cory finishes planning his observation lesson (by the principal...but he's not even fazed. he's awesome), we'll go on a long missed Sunday walk and watch Harry Potter 3 (and maybe 4, or Iron Man 2).

The End of Football!

Although it has been fun watching Cory start his first coaching job, it has been a major time commitment. So, although it was disappointing to not make the playoffs, Friday night's game marks the beginning of...weekends off!

So, on Cory's first Saturday afternoon off, we finally organized our garage! We are storing some extra furniture in our garage that won't fit in our house. Plus, we have all of my school stuff since I don't have my own class this year. So, we put together our shelving units and organized everything. It felt so good to get it done and be able to park in the garage again!

The next project is cleaning out the mini fridge my parents gave us for Cory's classroom.

Saturday night, we used our first Groupon at Los Vaqueros. Cory and I absolutely love going out to eat. But, we like to stay within a certain restaurant budget. So, I've been looking for Groupons at Fort Worth restaurants. 

I know that many people think that going out to eat is a total waste of money and they don't factor it into their budget. I totally respect that. But, for us, eating out is a way that we love to spend time together. For us, it is an investment in our relationship. We know that we could have date nights that involve free activities, but eating out is our date of choice. 

Last night at dinner, we were talking about why we love eating out so much. A huge part of our friendship was going out to eat together every Thursday night for pretty much a whole semester. This gradually bled into a weekly Saturday night date. We continued the tradition when we started dating and we've gone out most weeks since we've been married. It makes us still feel like we're dating. It always give us a chance to sit and talk about what has been going on. We always laugh and enjoy each other's company. It's so much fun.

The restaurant had some old carnival games (guess your weight, etc.). We started out the night by getting ripped off by the"Sex Appeal Meter." I had the camera ready in case Cory got "blah" or "clammy" :) He said that would be ridiculous. He said it was no surprise that he got "burning."

Because that particular light bulb looked a little more used than the others, I said it was broken and that it always tells people they're burning. He insisted we blow another quarter to test it.

So, it was a good thing that it was broken (or that we're just ridiculously attractive), because I think my self esteem would have gone down if I had then gotten "blah" after Cory got "burning."

We enjoyed our chile rellenos, sour cream chicken enchiladas, and strawberry sopapilla! It was a great night made more affordable by Groupon!

We finished the night off by picking up a fire log and snagging some Halloween stuff for 90% off. We had a great evening hanging out in front of a fire in our fireplace. We've never lived in a place with a fireplace before, so we were pretty excited.

Cory is loving having his weekends back. Right now, he is chilling downstairs on our couch watching a BBC Robin Hood (well he might be napping by now...) in none else but our...SNUGGIE! This was a gift from Tristan for...well, I think it was just because we're awesome.

In his words, "I can wear a blanket and still have my hands free!" Yes, yes, we know it's sexy. Back off girls, he's mine.

Happy Halloween!

Last night, Cory and I went to a coworker's Halloween party. It was a rowdy night (not for us) with some drunken yelling, a man dressed in nothing but vines and a speedo, scantily clad women (young and old), a Rangers win, and a large amount of beer (well coke and 7up for us). It may make me sound naive, but it was my first party with alcohol (besides some parties with my mom's side of the family with some social drinking of wine). It was pretty different than the Halloween party we went to last year (where we played Mafia and Cory dominated). Although we had a nice time with the coaches Cory works with, it made me very glad that my husband does not drink :) Although, yes, it did provide some laughs.

So, last year we made our costumes very last minute. We painted leftover wedding boxes to be dice and we were maybe still a little soggy from the paint. This year we could actually fit through doors! We ended up going as Abraham Lincoln and his wife Mary Todd. We trimmed up Cory's beard (it started out being very bushy and 14 inches long) but left it longer than Abe's so it would be obvious who he was. My hat and hair were definitely too flamboyant for Mary Todd, and Cory is maybe just a little shorter than President Lincoln :) But, we were going for dramatic effect. Plus, some of you know that Cory wants to name one of our kids Lincoln.

 The best part was that people actually automatically knew who we were! They kept calling us Abe and Mrs. Lincoln. Plus, since I had to wear a wig and color in my eyebrows, some of the coaches had a tough time recognizing me (yes, they may or may not have been a little drunk). Cory said he couldn't get over how different I looked. After leaving the party, we went to IHOP still decked out. It was a little embarrassing.

Cory in my Dad's old coattails and me in one of my old musical costumes from 10th grade

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! 

We forgot to buy candy last night in our tired stupor after the party, so we're being scrooges and pretending we're not home!

Happy Haunting!

Check out my beautiful flowers that my father in law gave me!

The jury is still out on what Cory and I are being for Halloween. Don't you worry, we have options.

After much procrastination, I decorated our house for Halloween last Sunday. Although the mantle is a little more bare than I'd like, we are still feeling pretty festive!

this one is our favorite!

Mr. Bones & our eyeballs :)

I thought I might light my hair on fire making these babies!

only 3 more days!